


it's the moment where my heart walks across the sky

by kungives



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alcohol, Alternate Universe - College/University, I Will Go Down With This Ship, Lee Jeno & Na Jaemin Are Best Friends, Lee Jeno is Dumb, M/M, Mentioned Huang Ren Jun, Mentioned Lee Donghyuck | Haechan, Mentioned Mark Lee (NCT), Mentioned Zhong Chen Le, Na Jaemin is Whipped, Rated teen for swearing, Swimmer Na Jaemin, THIS IS THE WORST THING I'VE EVER WRITTEN, Theatre Major Lee Jeno, Unresolved Romantic Tension, does jaemin even have a major? lol, jeno gets stuck in a cabinet lol, minor ships implied or referenced, nomin forever, stream BOOm you cowards, this fic will disappoint you, ugh i love my boys
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-14
Updated: 2019-08-14
Packaged: 2020-09-01 00:00:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,044
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20248804
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kungives/pseuds/kungives
Summary: There was a brief pause. Jaemin could hear him breathing soft, shallow breaths. Jeno shifted slightly beside him and he felt warm fingers slowly wrap around his bicep in a familiar way, ignored the way the touch sent cool tingles up and down his spine. "Don't you wanna know how I got stuck in the cabinet?"alternately; jeno has made a habit of falling back on unhealthy coping mechanisms and jaemin is there for him no matter what.





	it's the moment where my heart walks across the sky

**Author's Note:**

> title taken from my page by NCTDream
> 
> prompt: “I’m calling you because i’m stuck in the cupboard and i can’t get out, stop laughing at me, it’s not funny.” 
> 
> edit: i've finally got around to editing this and now it feels a lot less like something i pulled out of my ass and more like something i can be proud of :))) i hope you enjoy, feel free to let me know in the comments if there are any mistakes <3

There are much better things Jaemin could be doing at 2 o'clock in the morning.

Take, for example, the 10 page Economics essay that's due next week and only has a maximum of four sentences completed (not that anyone’s counting or anything). He could be studying, or washing the literal mountain of dirty laundry sitting at the foot of his bed that his roommates had been eyeing with distaste for days now. Or the dishes. And, now that he's thinking about it, it's his turn to clean the shower isn't it?

To be perfectly honest, he'd been putting his chores off for so long that he half expected Renjun to break down and do it all himself out of sheer frustration already, because that’s just the kind of person Renjun is. To be fair, though, he’d only ever that kind of person on the weeks that Jaemin _really_ doesn’t want to do the dishes. Laziness and crusty lasagna stuck to his favorite collectible moomin plate tended to bring that kind of person out of him.

In Jaemin’s mind his procrastination was perfectly justified with how packed his schedule was, and although it would mean spending a fortune on snacks and cute erasers to soothe the Chinese boy's wrath afterwards, Jaemin was _almost_ tempted to just let him do it. If Renjun were any better at cleaning it would _almost_ be worth it, but Jaemin knows he'd only have to do it again afterwards anyway and he really doesn't have the energy for that this week. Or next week. And he's pretty sure that the week after that he has exams in at least two classes. His energy reserves are spoken for.

He sighed through a thin smile before running his fingers through his hair, still damp from the pool. He'd made a habit of crashing right after swim practice without showering or drying off properly. Chenle nagged him about it sometimes when he climbed through Jaemin's window from the fire escape in the morning (he’d been sleeping out more lately, no one really knew where he went for sure but Jaemin’s first and best guess was Jisung) and saw the wet spot on his pillow, said he's going to catch a cold. Jaemin usually didn't make a point of reminding his younger roommate that he has an immune system made out of steel or that he would prefer it if he would use the front door next time because, like, it's _literally_ fucking 5AM and he's _losing precious sleep_.

Speaking of which, there is absolutely _nothing_ Jaemin would rather be doing right now, at 2AM on a Saturday after a grueling swim practice and with class in 7 hours than _sleeping_.

But, alas, he wasn't.

Instead of resting in his beautiful bed, he was currently power walking back to the other side of campus, where Jeno and Donghyuck's shared dorm was located, because his best friend somehow (against all odds) managed to get himself stuck in a cabinet.

A fucking _cabinet_.

Honestly, he couldn't even bring himself to be mad about it. It was actually kind of funny.

He almost busted a lung when Jeno called him up twenty minutes prior, very panicked and very drunk.

"_Nanaaa,_" he whined in typical Drunk Jeno fashion, all prolonged vowels and whimpers. "_I didn't call just to hear you laugh at me. Come help meee._"

Jaemin could barely wheeze out a response through fits of laughter. "Wha-"

"_Please. Please pleeease, I'm begging you. My back hurts. I'm so hungry. Doyoungie hyung isn’t answering the phone, you're my only hope._"

"H-how," Jaemin took a deep breath, chest tight. "How the _fuck_ did you get stuck in a cabinet?"

"_No time to explain! Please come get me out. I think I'm suffocating._"

"You're not suffocating," Jaemin tried to soothe him, though it probably sounded more condescending than anything because he was still laughing, cheesin' like an idiot. How could he not be? This was fucking _good_. In fact, this was the best thing that's happened to him since junior year of high school when Donghyuck got properly shitfaced and climbed a tree but was too scared to climb down. Mark had to carry him down on his back, almost dropped him. For _months_ afterwards, all Jaemin had to do to feel better when he was down was watch that 1 minute and 57 second video, courtesy of his lovely little Jisungie, and his depression was instantly cured.

"_I'm going to die._" Jeno moaned, miserable.

"You're not gonna die," Jaemin moved the phone away from his face to stifle a particularly boisterous giggle. The effort made him a little red in the face. "I'm-- I'm on my way, just stay where you are."

"_Considering I'm literally stuck in a fucking cabinet, I don't think I'm getting very far._"

At this point, Jaemin was struggling to put on his shoes in the dark of his room. He was laughing so hard, ugly and unrestrained, that he had to pause and recollect himself. 

"_Nana! This is serious! Stop laughing at me!_" Jeno was in full Whine Mode, like he tended to be every time he drank. Others found it annoying, because it lowkey kinda was, but Jaemin was incapable of finding it anything but absoltely adorable.

"Right, you're right. This is very--" he paused, wetting his lips, shoulders shaking. "--very serious. So serious, in fact, I might as well just call the fire fighters to come get you out."

"_No! No, no one can know about this, I'll die from embarrassment! You have to come get me out. If you leave me here I'll never forgive you, I swear on the lives of all my cats--_"

"Don't drag the cats into this."

"_\-- if you don't come get me out of this cabinet right now I'll set your... your gym bag on fire--_"

"Jeno-yah!"

A brief silence. "_... Yeah?_"

"Didn't I already say I was on my way?" Jaemin was out the door by now, keys and wallet tucked safely into the one usable pocket of the gym sweats he changed into after practice-- the ones that were practically falling apart at the seams. He'd had them since freshman year of highschool, couldn't bear to part with them, despite the holes. He set a brisk pace for Jeno's.

"_... Yeah..._"

"Then why are you threatening me?"

Jeno gasped, realization dawning over him. "_You're teasing me!_" Jaemin could hear him pouting through the phone and he was grinning so hard that his cheeks were starting to ache.

Sober Jeno would never have pointed this out. Jaemin teased him all the time, pretty much on the daily, and every time he did Jeno would usually either get all flustered and shut him down or just ignore him entirely. He never would have highlighted it, never would've even _responded_ to it. This is one of the reasons Jaemin liked Drunk Jeno better than Sober Jeno: Drunk Jeno was _much_ more fun to tease.

"Am not," he refuted, stepping out of the elevator and out of his apartment building. It's times like these when he can see what Chenle and Jisung are talking about when they say he's a shithead, because he _totally_ is.

"_You are! I'm stuck in a cabinet and you're laughing at me and teasing me!_"

"It's not my fault you're so cute when you're like this."

"_Oh my god, I can't deal with you right now. Why did I have to get stuck with you? It's just my luck, honestly. You know, most people get cool friends that take care of them when they're drunk and don't make fun of them. Instead, I get the stereotypical asshole jock fuckboy from every teen chick flick ever made. I’ve been cursed. What did I do to deserve this? Woe is me._"

Jaemin was feeling slightly more daring than usual, despite the initial surprise that Jeno was able to get all that out without stuttering or vomiting. He wanted to keep teasing him. "Stop lying to yourself, you know you love me."

"_I'd love you a lot more if you would hurry up and come get me out of this fucking cabinet!_"

Jaemin's heart almost dropped out of his chest and onto the sidewalk. Sober Jeno would _never_ say anything even remotely close to that, and without hesitation, too. His stomach was in knots. He picked up the pace a little bit.

"I'm ten minutes away, alright? Just hang tight."

With that, he ended the call, unable to trust himself to carry the conversation any further. He knew where to draw the line. As much as he enjoyed Drunk Jeno, he knew he was playing a very dangerous game. They had been friends since elementary school. Jaemin witnessed Jeno’s awkward puberty phase, voice cracks and acne and all. He was there for his first major role in his first major play (and all of the minor ones that came before that, too, unfortunately). Jaemin was right there with him when his parents separated, when his dad moved to Canada. They knew each other better than anyone else, even their own siblings.

Throughout all the years and years of tumultuous friendship and simply being alive on this Earth, Jaemin had always felt closest to Jeno. There was no one who understood him like Jeno did, even though he liked to act distant at times.

They had seen each other at their best and at their worst. They knew each other's quirks and odd behaviors. They were practically attached at the hip all throughout junior high and high school and everyone who had ever witnessed them together (that's a stretch, it's mostly just their circle of friends and complete strangers they bump into at the cafe and ice cream parlor they frequent) had mentioned how cute of a couple they would make.

If Jaemin weren't so busy with school and swim and everything else these days, they'd still be like that. He was sure of it. 

And yet, Jeno only ever flirted with him when he was drunk. And the worst part was, even though Jaemin was certain he couldn't see Jeno as anything other than his goofy, emotionally constipated best friend, he didn't exactly hate it.

In fact, it's probably the exact opposite. He _loved_ it.

Jaemin was flirty by nature. If you asked Renjun, he'd probably tell you that Jaemin will fling himself at anything with a pulse (though he often fails to mention that his endeavors hardly ever venture past flirting), and he's right for the most part. He simply loved to flirt. He loved to flirt with Jeno. He loved when Jeno flirted back.

But right now he didn't have the time nor the energy to think about it, because there was a very distressed damsel in desperate need of saving.

Jeno had been there through thick and thin, sticking around through Jaemin's worst fuck ups. He’s pulled him out of plenty of his own metaphorical cabinets. And though he liked to laugh at him, though he would rather be doing literally anything else right now (or so he tells himself), he found he really doesn't mind the 2AM detour all that much.

It could have been worse, after all.

***

In retrospect, there was literally no way it could have been worse.

The door was unlocked when he arrived (typical) and the scene that he let himself into was, in short, a catastrophe (atypical, Jeno kept his living space _clean_, so clean that you could eat off the floors, not that Jaemin would do that anyway). The dorm was an absolute _mess_: empty food containers littered otherwise empty surfaces (the coffee table was void of its usual eccentricities; candles, picture frames, Jeno's favorite panda figurines), school supplies were strewn haphazardly across the floor upon immediate entry (all of which, Jaemin observed, belonged to Donghyuck), the sink was piled high with dirty dishes, and _Jeno_. Oh, Jeno.

Jaemin probably would have been more inclined to take the situation seriously if it weren't 2:30 in the morning and he wasn't operating solely on the single Red Bull he downed before practice and sheer willpower. It was a shit show, really. It was a matter that should have been handled delicately. Jeno was extremely vulnerable right now. He knew that better than anyone.

But as soon as he crossed the threshold into the kitchen and saw Jeno's ass end sticking out of the cupboard beneath the sink, all he could do was laugh.

Jeno, who was apparently half asleep when Jaemin arrived, jolted awake at the noise. "Whazza? Nana, 's that you?"

Jeno was wearing his signature Stay Home Alone And Get Shitfaced attire: boxers, cringey _Looney Toons_ tube socks that had bunched up around his anklea, and his favorite _Godzilla_ tee. For some odd reason, this only made the situation that much more amusing to Jaemin.

“Yeah, I’m here.” He squatted down next to him and began to assess the situation. Jeno's entire upper half was wedged into the cabinet, apparently stuck at the hips. It seemed he had to hunch his entire torso forward in order to maintain the position. It looked really uncomfortable, even from Jaemin's position, and for a second there he almost almost felt bad for him.

Said boy mumbled something, obscured slightly by the wood ensnaring him, that sounds vaguely like, “Oh, thank fucking _cheese_.”

"So," Jaemin said in a low voice, loud enough for Jeno to hear him but not loud enough to disturb the early morning atmosphere. "Do you want to explain to me how you got stuck in a cabinet?"

Jeno groaned, positively miserable. He seemed to have sobered up a bit in the fifteen minutes it took Jaemin to walk here. He was definitely still drunk, but there was a hint of lethargy about him that can't really exist after a certain level of inebriation. He sounded almost as tired as Jaemin felt.

"C'mon..." he whined. "Get me out first."

And so Jaemin did.

It took about twenty minutes and every ounce of strength he had left in his feeble, sore body but he eventually managed to free Jeno of his temporary prison. He found that the easiest way to do it would have been to wrap both hands around his thighs (Jaemin tried to ignore the way his skin was warm to the touch, despite the fact that it was mid November) and yank him directly out instead of trying to coax him out gently from the side. A few minutes of pulling at different angles ("Can't you, like, push yourself out a little?" "If I could I wouldn't have called you, jackass." "What's the point of having those delicious muscles if you can't put them to use?" "_Ssshut_ the fuck up, Na Jaemin, or I swear on my _life--")_ and Jeno popped right out onto the cool tiles, landing rather unceremoniously, a loud yelp escaping him.

Jaemin met him with a triumphant grin, feeling rather proud of himself. The task was easier than he expected. He barely broke a sweat. He gave the raven haired boy a few moments to collect himself, catch his breath and all that. However, when he realized that Jeno was more than content with remaining slumped to the kitchen floor for the rest of the night, he settled himself down next to him.

As carefully as he could manage, he gathered Jeno into his lap, shifting him onto his back and propping him upright to remove the potential of him choking on his own vomit. The boy grunted a few times with the effort but made no protest. Now that he could see him in the light, Jaemin couldn properly run damage control.

Jeno's skin was pale and hot to the touch, but was cooling down considerably now that he had been freed. His bangs clung to his forehead, slick with sweat when Jaemin went to brush it away. His eyes were puffy and his breaths came out shallow but even.

He looked fine, all things considered, better than Jaemin expected him to. He’d definitely seen him looking worse after parties, pulled him out of stickier situations in much less time, but at least this time he didn’t have to worry about the ever present, looming threat of alcohol poisoning.

Jeno tended to be a bit of a wild card sometimes, even moreso than Donghyuck in his worst cases, but _definitely_ without the frequency. Jeno thankfully didn't do stuff like this nearly as much as his honey skinned roommate, for which Jaemin was eternally grateful. The sheer number of times he'd heard stories about Mark having to pick him up while he was wasted or bail him out of trouble at bars or just trouble in general was, in and of itself, appalling. He really didn’t know how Mark put up with Hyuck. (He did know; Mark was whipped. That's really all there was to it.)

After twenty-or-so minutes of trying to coax water into Jeno's system, he finally managed to get him to sit up. And by sit up he means slump lifelessly against Jaemin's side in a semi-upright position, slightly more propped up than he was before.

"How much did you drink, Lee?" Jaemin shifted slightly under the weight. When did Jeno get so heavy? He smelled, too, something he didn't notice before. He crinkled his nose. "And when was the last time you showered?"

Jeno didn't respond, simply raised a hand in limp gesture towards the doorway to the living room, where Jaemin could see a collection of presumably empty beer cans littering the floor infront of the couch. He didn't really know how he missed them when he walked in. It didn't look like he drank a whole lot, which was a relief. Maybe getting stuck in a cabinet for hours with nothing but a cellphone, mouse traps, and bleach takes a greater toll on the body than Jaemin initially thought.

He heaved a sigh. "Alright, let's get you cleaned up."

He all but dragged poor Jeno to the bathroom, where he took the time to carefully mop the sweat off Jeno's torso and face with a damp washcloth (Jeno had to take off his shirt and pretended not to notice Jaemin staring, pretended that the rosy blush adorning his cheeks was from the alcohol and nothing more), and then to his and Donghyuck's shared bedroom.

Donghyuck was unsurprisingly absent, his bed untouched. It didn't come as a shock. Mark graduated with a bachelor's in music production and Donghyuck had been practically living at his flat ever since. Jeno liked to tell people that he preferred it without all the noise and drama, but Jaemin knew better. Despite being loud and annoying, Hyuck was still a good friend and good company (something Jaemin would rather chew glass than admit aloud). Besides, everyone gets lonely, even the perfectly self sufficient Jeno Lee.

He dumped Jeno's body onto his bed and pulled away the covers. It took him approximately 30 seconds to acquire a change of clothes for the intoxicated and shirtless boy (he knew where everything was in Jeno's room, something he took an unusually large amount of pride in). He tossed the articles onto Jeno's chest and the boy blinked up at him a few times in response, bleary-eyed and exhausted. Jaemin took a deep breath for what seemed to be the thousandth time that night. 

It was bad enough he was forced to temper his emotions under a normal setting, but seeing him like _this_, Jaemin had to physically restrain himself from remarking on the boy's level of cuteness in that moment.

This was going to be a _long_ night, had _already_ been a long night, but at least he was half way through.

"Put those on," The taller boy instructed, crossing lanky arms over his chest. "I'm gonna find you something to put in your stomach that won't give you indigestion or heartburn and then you're going to explain to me what the fuck just happened."

Jeno was grinning up at him all of the sudden, eyes flattening into crescent moons in that endearing way they always do. He'd always had a very pretty smile, something the other had never been afraid to admit. Jaemin absently noticed that it was even prettier from this angle in this lighting, under these circumstances, with this soft glow in his chest. Jeno raised a weak hand up to his forehead in mock salute, dropped it immediately after. "Yessir."

For a brief, quiet moment, they just looked at each other. Jeno was smiling ear to ear because once again Jaemin swooped in to save the day and Jaemin can't help but smile a little himself because he still couldn't believe his idiot best friend actually got stuck in a cabinet and here he was looking cuter than ever, more lovable than ever. Jaemin’s chest flooded with affection.

But the moment passed as quickly as it came and Jaemin embarked on his quest to find food without another word, afraid that if he stayed too long he'd do something dumb like kiss him silly or spill his guts. The best he could find was a protein bar, some saltines, and a water bottle. Jeno took everything Jaemin gave him with hardly any complaints, for which he was extremely grateful. Usually, whenever Jeno got like this it was a fight to get him sobered up. He assumed the cabinet probably knocked all the fight out of him.

It was well past 3 by the time Jaemin had Jeno clothed, fed, watered, and tucked safely beneath his _Spiderman_ themed comforter. He made a point to shut off all the lights before he conceded his Good Friend™ duties, already planning out the email to his professor that he would have to write in the morning. 'Sorry, I can't come into class today because a friend-of-mine-who-is-maybe-more-than-a-friend-but-it's-complicated got shitfaced last night and got stuck in a cabinet, so now I have to stay home and make sure he doesn't throw up any valuable or vital organs. Cheers.'

He flopped down next to Jeno on the bed in defeat. The sheets were warm and smelled like Jeno, which was always nice, but even nicer in this moment after the day he’d had. Jaemin could feel all the stress drain out of his muscles, a permanent smile gracing his lips.

"Nana," Jeno whispered into the darkness after awhile of nothing but the sound of the November wind against his window panes and the space heater buzzing in the corner. Jaemin started; he didn't think he was still awake.

"Yeah?"

"Thank you." 

Jaemin's tired heart nearly melted out of his chest and onto the sheets-- he sounded so soft and sincere. "You're welcome, Jeno." 

Jeno fell silent for another tick or two, then he whispered Jaemin's name again. "Nana?"

"... Yeah?" 

There was a brief pause. Jaemin could hear him breathing soft, shallow breaths. Jeno shifted slightly beside him and he felt warm fingers slowly wrap around his bicep in a familiar way, ignored the way the touch sent cool tingles up and down his spine. "Don't you wanna know how I got stuck in the cabinet?"

Jaemin _did_ want to know. He wanted to know very badly, but he was also dead tired, and he thinks he can probably wait until the morning to find out. "Tell me later?"

"... But I wanna tell you now."

Jaemin released a small sigh. Jeno was whining again, and Jaemin already has an immense problem saying no to Jeno on normal occasions, nevermind when it's 3AM and he's acting 3x cuter than normal. He eventually gave in like they both knew he would, shifted onto his side and peeled his eyes open. Jeno was staring back at him expectantly.

"Alright, tell me."

"I called Hyuckie," he began, speaking slowly and evenly so that Jaemin could follow.

"Never a good idea."

"Shh, lemme finish."

"Right, sorry, go ahead."

"I called him to ask where he put the Grey Goose that Taeil hyung got him for his birthday and he told me he put it under the sink. So I was like, ‘Thanks’ and he goes, ‘No problem’ but he tells me not to drink it all because he has a party to go to next Friday and he promised he’d bring something. And I’m like, yeah whatever, but I really need some vodka right now..." Jeno's eyes widened dramatically when he talked, something Jaemin found unfairly cute in the soft early morning light. "So I went to look for it."

Jaemin nodded for him to continue.

"But I looked under the sink and I couldn't find it, so I thought 'hey, maybe he shoved it waaay in the back'. I tried to crawl in but I got stuck. Like, _really_ stuck. I almost _suffocated_, it was so scary." Jeno recounted these events as if Jaemin hadn't already witnessed the very position he was in or literally yanked him out of it. Jaemin couldn't help but chuckle. Jeno's hand traveled down his arm until he was grasping onto Jaemin's hand instead.

"Mhm, super scary. You must have suffered so much."

Jeno pouted. It made Jaemin's gut twist, but not in an unpleasant way. "I did."

The honey haired boy coos, using his free hand to gently rake his fingers through Jeno's hair. Sober Jeno would never let him touch him like this. Hand holding was normal when they were alone, when it was just the two of them and no one else, but anything beyond that (especially in public) was uncharted territory. It felt a bit too intimate for the situation, but Jaemin couldn't bring himself to pull away. He can't force himself to stop. He didn't want to. He didn't know when-- _if_ Jeno would let him be this close again.

And Jeno didn't seem to want him to stop either. He merely sighed, leaned slightly into the touch, and continued with his story. “So I call him back and he’s like, ‘ohhh, no I meant the _bathroom_ sink’, and I literally almost started crying because it’s late and I’m stuck in a cabinet and I don’t even have any vodka. Really, who hides their alcohol in the _bathroom_? That’s just gross.”

Jaemin shrugs. “It's the last place you'd expect, right? It'll never get stolen that way. And the RAs never go in ths bathroom.”

Jeno hummed in agreement. “Yeah, you’re right.”

"Do you want to tell me what possessed you to spontaneously try to give yourself alcohol poisoning?"

Jeno pursed his lips, seemingly putting a great deal of thought into his answer. When he finally spoke, he looked borderline hesitant. "Stress, I guess."

Jaemin knew there was probably a bit more to it than that, that it wasn't the whole truth, but he didn't push it. He could tell Jeno didn't want him to.

"Why didn't you call me sooner?" He asked instead.

"... You were at practice."

"I would have picked up if it were you."

"I didn't want to bother you, though. You've been so busy lately. Like, you probably have better things to do at 2 in the morning than deal with my shit." Jeno wasn't looking at him anymore. Jaemin's heart sank to the bottom of his stomach. He quickly thought back to all the things he would have rather been doing and realized sagely that not a single one of those things held a candle to helping out his friend in his time of need. If he had to do it again, he would have chosen Jeno a thousand times over.

Jaemin shifted in a bit closer, prompting Jeno to find his eyes again. "Believe it or not, I actually enjoy spending time with you. I want you to call me when you're stressed or upset or get yourself stuck in a cabinet."

Jeno cracked a small smile at that, so easy and pure. "Really?"

"Of course." Jaemin knew that Jeno probably wasn't going to remember this in the morning. It gave him a small surge of courage, knowing that he could say what he wanted, what he'd wanted to for awhile now, and he didn't have to hold back out of fear. "I'd do anything for you, you know that. You're my best friend."

"Is that all I am?" The raven haired boy asked, all wide eyed and innocent. Jaemin didn’t know how to respond at first. His heart was beating too fast for him to think. Sober Jeno _never_ would’ve asked something like that.

Sober Jeno had made a habit of dancing around whatever lingered between them. He did it so well that sometimes Jaemin wondered if he had imagined it all; the misty look on Jeno’s face whenever Jaemin flirted with someone else, the touches that lingered a moment too long, the moments like this where they were either too tired or too intoxicated to care about boundaries.

It was only during moments like this that Jaemin wanted desperately to be anything more than friends with Jeno, moments like this that give him a small, shining glimmer of hope that his unattainable, undateable best friend felt the same way that he did. It was moments like this that he, for once, didn’t want to shove his emotions down into the deep, dark recesses of his heart.

"Is that all you want to be?" He dared to ask, terrified but hopeful at the same time.

"I want to be everything to you." Jeno’s voice was small, so soft that Jaemin almost thought that he was imagining it for a second. If it weren't for the way the shorter male’s breath tickled his neck when he exhaled, a sensation that felt more real than the air in his lungs, he would have been sure that he was dreaming.

Slowly, gently, Jeno’s eyes fluttered to a close. It was so tempting to close the distance, pull him into his arms and feel the warmth radiating from his body. It would have been so easy, and yet so impossible at the same time.

In the end, Jaemin could do nothing but sit there and watch his friend fall asleep.

_Idiot,_ He thought, mustering up enough courage to brush a feather light kiss to Jeno’s exposed forehead._ You already are._

**Author's Note:**

> you made it!!!
> 
> this is the first thing i've published on this site and it only took me three hours to write so i'm sorry for any mistakes. thank you for reading, comments/kudos are appreciated uwu <3


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